When you under pay a bunch of Asian kids at a Chinese restaurant,

This is what happens.

Yup, I don’t remember if I mentioned it before but, Princess’s wage isn’t increasing because “business is bad” and the “HST is fucking us up” and some other crap. This makes a pretty rage-tastic job even more provoking, which means I’m going to burn the friggin’ place down some day. Remember how I said Chinese food attracts idiots? It also drags in retards and new immigrants who insist on keeping village traditions. What really annoys me is the fact that some of those retards actually work at the place.

We have an assistant chef with shitty memory, shitty language skills and even shittier teeth.Remember waaay back when I said that beef brisket noodle soup was pretty self explanatory, and that anyone who doesn’t realize what it is needed to have their reproductive organs removed for the sake of the species? Well, someone who makes beef brisket noodle soup, and manages to forget the beef brisket should probably have themselves removed all together. Let’s talk common sense for a bit. There is one customer. He orders two things for take out. I call out both, and say that both are for take out. 3 minutes later, when the chef turns to me and asks if it was for take out, I don’t really mind. I’ll assume he didn’t hear it or it slipped his mind. When he turns back to me 30 seconds later and asks if the second thing was for take-out, I was ready to plant chopsticks in his face. There was one night where someone ordered 4 wonton noodle soups, therefore, I place an order for 4 wonton noodle soups. Now, our wontons are kept frozen, so it takes a while for them to cook properly. The usual order would be to toss the wontons in, and THEN boil the noodles when it’s about done. The noodles go into the bowl, and then take the wontons out, and put them on top of noodles. Add soup and serve. This idiot not only mistakes 4 wonton noodle soup for a small wonton soup, but when he finally gets it right, he fucks up that simple pattern, cooks the noodles first, and then toss the wontons in, which slows everything down. Unfortunately, wontons aren’t the only responsibility that rabbit-teeth has. He’s supposed to be grabbing the rice/noodles for the other chefs. While he’s busy figuring out how to do his job, the other chefs have to run for their own boxes, which once again kills time, and anyone who’s been in a commercial kitchen knows its best if less people are moving about. TL;DR, thanks for clogging up the line, dumbass.

There’s a moron who works cash as well. He’s probably 22, 23 and doesn’t do shit. He failed at school, failed police academy, and couldn’t keep a job as a security guard and came back to being a noodle boy. In name only, of course. All he does is eat, read newspapers and take half hour shits. He doesn’t fucking read receipts when he packs orders and doesn’t mark them properly when he takes orders. Even the new kid, who’s practically notorious for being a slow learner does better than he does. There’s shame in that, especially when hes almost 10 years younger than you.

Of course, there’s no end to cheap fucks and people who don’t use their eyes or their heads coming in too. About a year ago, we changed out business hours, and we started to close an hour early. We put up a sign on the door stating that, because we didn’t have enough zeros to change the old sign properly. There are still retards who get angry when we boot them out, because they don’t read the sign. It’s big, it’s colorful and it’s on the fucking door. You’d have to be blind to miss it. What makes it even funnier is that half of these people are old, shriveled Thai ladies, because the damn paper is eye level to them.

I’ve had 3 people get angry over the mandatory 5 cent charge for plastic bags( Toronto bylaw, as of June 2010 I believe), and start drama, which always ends up with me taking the bag back, refunding the money and watching them carry boxes that usually leak steaming hot sauces from the opening. One guy left with three of these boxes, saying, hes going to put them in his car, so he doesn’t need a fcking bag. He asks for one every single time now, probably because he has black bean sauce stained onto his car seat. Does that nickel cover the cleaning? I don’t think so.Yes, the government charging for bags is a retarded way to save the environment is stupid, they only recently implemented foam recycling and I’ve yet to see bio-degradable bags in widespread use, but making your life harder over 5 cents is just as retarded.

As you can see, a bunch of us are pretty unhappy about the job right now. One of my friends is quitting at the end of the month, and a few of the guys try to shove their shifts on others already. Looks like it’s time to go job hunting again. * A*

To end on a happier note, this is what we do when business sucks:

This is a catapult I MacGyver’d at work with a spoon, a knife, chopsticks, sauce containers, a toothpick and some rubber bands. The rubber band that ties the chopsticks to the knife power it, and can toss candy about 2 meters :’D. I didn’t  have time to refine it anymore so that it could go further faster though.


I seriously need a new job.

    • hitori-sama
    • July 18th, 2010

    i lol’d hard at the newspaper and sauce boats.

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